Privacy Policy

1. Information I Collect

Honestly? Not much. This is a portfolio website, not a data-hungry tech giant. I'm not tracking your every move or building a psychological profile. I'm just trying to show you some cool projects I've made.

2. What I Do With Your Data

The absolutely massive amount of data I collect (read: basically nothing) is used for:

• Making the website work (revolutionary, I know)
• Counting how many people visited (for my ego)
• That's literally it

3. Third-Party Services

This site might use some third-party services like analytics or hosting. They have their own privacy policies which are probably way longer and more boring than this one. I trust them about as much as anyone trusts tech companies these days, which is to say... cautiously optimistic?

4. Cookies

Yes, this site uses cookies. No, I still can't offer you actual cookies. These digital cookies help remember things like your preferences. If you don't like cookies, you can disable them in your browser, but then some things might not work as well. It's like refusing the free samples at Costco - technically your right, but why would you?

5. Your Rights

You have the right to:

• Close this tab whenever you want (freedom!)
• Not give me your email (I'm not even asking for it)
• Use incognito mode like you're some kind of spy
• Pretend you never saw this portfolio (but please don't)
• Tell all your friends about this amazing website (preferred option)

6. Security

I take security seriously. Well, as seriously as a portfolio site needs to take it. There's no login, no payment processing, no secret government files here. Just some projects and a lot of CSS. The most sensitive thing on this site is probably my ego.

7. Children's Privacy

This site is not directed at children under 13. Not because there's anything inappropriate here, but because let's be honest - kids these days are probably better at coding than me and don't need to look at my portfolio for inspiration.

8. Contact Me

If you have privacy concerns, questions, or just want to chat about how unnecessarily long privacy policies usually are, feel free to reach out. I promise to respond with the same level of enthusiasm I put into writing this privacy policy (which is surprisingly high, actually).